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I know I haven’t been writing much at all if anything, life has been very… unlucky and if you’ve seen my latest posts and my message to the anon you know I am feeling extremely low. I’d appreciate if you could hit the tip jar button on my posts. If you can’t see the button then you can use the link in this post.  You can also paypal me donations to help me keep my blogs (and my poor body) running via

Basically I injured my legs and am now back in physical therapy, I had to endure a toxic person for the last month on a daily basis and it messed me up. I am in the midst of getting in with a new therapist. I am also receiving a small monthly stipend and am certifiably disabled and thus cannot work.

If you wish to buy me something you can look at my giant list of shiny things [Here]

In addition I recently had been in the ER for an attempted overdose. I live in a bad family situation and am working to get out. Anything helps, please signal boost this.

Since making this post I started seeing a trauma and disability focused therapist and am working on getting government aid filed. I just need help getting through it and getting out of here. I am also in the process of getting a prescription that qualifies my cats as therapy animals and therefore allowed in apartments. I am not sure where I will be moving in the end but the first step is low income housing and then out of state.

Thank you for reading!

Since I have been sharing this post privately to people close to me and a smattering or others (thanks for any and all reblogs/signal boosts). I couldn’t write up a proper explanation of my situation past the two originals yesterday.

Here’s the facts:
My mom is most likely undiagnosed with NPD. This subthread will give you an idea of what these sort of parents are like.

  • I have tried multiple times to tell adults, her therapist(s), and mine that she needs help and she will either attack me, make jabs at me, guilt me or flat out deny any possibility of illness no matter how I choose to approach the topic.
  • A reliable source in the family (aka one of the only good and level headed of our blood) told me what she witnessed her doing to my brother (he’s 14 years my senior and an aspie) and it proves that she has always been abusive well before I was born.
  • My mom has made horrible threats to shut me up and make me behave through my life even saying I’d be [Trigger warning] beaten and raped if I went into foster care.
  • Nowadays her immediate reaction is to dismiss/force me to constantly repeat my triggers or be told to ignore them and give them what she wants.
  • She also triggers me to the point of banshee screaming and wailing as I beg to have some space and be left alone. If I don’t let her in she threatens to get me put into a psychiatric ward. She knows how to make me meltdown. She purposefully triggered me by blaming @squireofshadows for what the meds were doing to me along with my illness in 2015 rather than accept that she and the meds were to blame.
  • She will guilt me and say I can’t survive or do something because of my mental illnesses.
  • Refuses to believe what she’s done is abusive and then guilts us by saying that she isn’t allowed to have feelings. She lies to everyone else and makes us look irrational or like we are just having episodes.
  • Refuses to listen to my explanations or read my resources on my illnesses and how they manifest
  • Blames me for my rape and abuse
  • Whenever she slips up and I call her on it she gaslights me or she tries to say she never said it that way/with that intention/was going that direction.
  • Tells me wanting to out my rapists and confront them/get my property back (which means I’d need the funding to convince her to help me make the trip to retrieve the car back and get his name or my name off)

I have: Major Depressive Disorder, comorbid anxiety disorders, possibly BPD, ©-PTSD, I have also had issues with skin picking when overly stressed. I have struggled with suicidal ideation and self harm since I was 8 years old because of my mother. I am legally on SSD and disabled and unemployed.

I am also working to get a prescription for my cats as therapy animals which means I need to update their shots, update the two microchips of my older two and microchip the younger two.

I would appreciate any donations possible.Either at my ko-fi, my paypal, or my wishlist. I really need to get out guys.

Sharing this for a friend. If you can help out please consider. Or if you can re-blog this it would also be greatly appreciated.

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