**Trigger warning. Discussing abuse**
I’ve been wanting to write just one post about this topic, but it’s hard because the topic of grooming and abuse really disturbs me. When talking about topics like consensual incest, it tends to attract all kinds of people, some of whom may have the wrong impression of what you actually support.
Continue reading “Abuse, Grooming, Open Family, Incest Abuse”For Transgender awareness week, I kind of wanted to say something as someone who is trans.
The most important part of spreading awareness should be about the idea of not making assumptions.
Every trans person experiences things differently. Every one has their own narrative.
There really is no such thing as a single transgender narrative.
Transgender does not automatically mean “third gender”. There are people who identify with the Binary (like me).
Transgender is an umbrella term that includes non-binaries too, but it doesn’t only belong to non-binary OR binary people exclusively.
A trans person’s legitimacy doesn’t depend on whether they ever have surgery or take hormones.
Not all trans people identify as Queer.
The film I am reviewing is the one that came out in 1999. There is actually another film made in 2007.
I want to start by saying that I was a fool. I take back everything I said in my first post about this film. I had been reluctant to watch it for the reasons I explained in the previous post, but I finally pushed myself to give it a chance and… by the end of the film, it went from being my least favourite cousin love story in a novel to one of my Top Favourite films exploring this kind of relationship. I want to explain why I loved it this time round and what my impressions were of the book vs. the film.
The truth is I read the novel by Jane Austen years ago, so I don’t really remember the exact details or what the film might have changed. The main love story is still there. They might’ve just changed some details of the scenes here and there. But I remember that my first impression of the novel was that Edmund was indecisive and took forever to realize Fanny’s worth. Or that’s how it seemed to me, and that was the main reason for the bad impression I got of the book. It’s possible I misremembered or simply misinterpreted the book’s version of Edmund.
*Takes deep breath.
I feel awkward mentioning this movie because I have to be honest about the fact that I never liked this story. Mansfield Park is a book by Jane Austen. I remember reading it in English class years ago. *spoilers ahead*
The reason I didn’t like the book was because I felt that the guy didn’t deserve his cousin. He spent most of the book chasing a shallow woman who was just using him, and by the end it felt like he pretty much chose his cousin only because she was the last option left… I’ll admit that I am picky, so it takes a lot to make me truly like a pairing. But this just irritated me on so many levels. Yes, some characters take time to grow, but I didn’t feel he had any good reasons for not realizing things earlier.
So then years later I tried to watch the film but ended up being annoyed for other reasons. They completely changed the female lead character’s personality… She just didn’t seem like the character in the book at all. But I did stop watching the film early, so I can’t be sure how much they changed her…
Do I recommend it? Yea, I have to, cause the story does have two first cousins as a central romantic pairing. I’m still not sure I want to watch the movie myself, especially if it’s one of those “she can’t make up her mind between two guys” kind of stories… no thanks. That is not for me.
So while this story is not for me on a personal level, someone else might like it if you enjoy these themes in fiction. Even if you don’t have Netflix, I’m sure you can find it online somewhere. If you didn’t know it existed, at least now you know ^_^
UPDATE: I wrote up a more detailed Review Here. After watching the film properly and understanding it better, I changed my mind about the stuff I said above.
I’ve been trying to sketch a bit. Here’s something I drew recently, just a rough sketch.
This is how they’d be when they meet again as teens. Their parting was sudden in childhood, and they didn’t have time to process it, so when she comes back, after the initial tension/coldness this would be him xD
“Don’t leave me again, please” 😥 Hahaha.
Are you one of those people who ask “WHY??” when you see someone supporting consensual adult incest? Do not ask that question unless you have the balls to deal with the actual answer. If you’re going to be an anti, at least be an informed anti. Human rights deserves more than two seconds of thought. Two seconds of thought makes for a worthless opinion, because that is what is called a knee-jerk reaction. It’s not an argument, it’s not a thoughtful opinion, it’s a reaction based on whim.
Are you someone who is curious about the facts behind a subject that is often presented in a distorted, dehumanized, dishonest way by popular media and society?
The below is a small list I sent to someone after they asked for a list of articles about consensual incest. I want to expand this list later, but for now, here are some scholarly articles and other well-written pieces and videos you can check out.
The content in these articles/resources might be challenging for some people. I still find some of it challenging on a personal/intellectual level. The important thing is to understand that personal disgust/dislike is not a legitimate reason to deny other people their rights or to pass moral judgement on their lives.
These materials go beyond cousin couples, but the topics discussed provides a big-picture sense of the issues around consanguinamory, and better illuminates where cousin couples fit into this picture, as well as how the stigmatization of other kinds of consensual adult incest affects the way cousin couples are perceived and treated in society. So even though it may seem off-topic for the usual themes of this blog, it is still connected to the themes in important ways.
Here are the materials:
1. English translated version of the German Ethics Council’s report about incest: https://www.ethikrat.org/fileadmin/Publikationen/Stellungnahmen/englisch/opinion-incest-prohibition.pdf
2. Royal Commission report recommending that incest be legalized (this is an old report but very relevant to the topic). There are 4 or 5 PDF files, one for each part of the report. Once the files are on your computer you can open each one and search for the topic. (Part one has the recommendation in brief. The final part has more detailed argument and conclusion): https://apo.org.au/node/34438?fbclid=IwAR21eYklk6bnooiHL_xuXPgH0OOoyEQyJNgTVEUfhF79ImOxR2byz9TFsIo
3. “The Incest Horrible: Delimiting the Lawrence v. Texas” This is one of my top favorite scholarly articles exploring legality. You can download it through the “download” button here: https://repository.law.umich.edu/mjgl/vol23/iss1/4/#.WXf2pMuhqtE.twitter
4. “Incest is Best: The Problem of a Moral Taboo” by Vera Bergelson is another brilliant one. You can download it here: https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3228796
5. Rudolf Mandelbaum’s Social Justice Articles: The guy who wrote these wanted to develop his arguments more and make an updated version. It’s worth reading both versions.
Original article: https://medium.com/rudolf-mandelbaum/incest-is-a-social-justice-issue-9a40f69e9ae5
Updated article: https://medium.com/rudolf-mandelbaum/incest-is-a-social-justice-issue-updated-version-4edbee454413
The following is the story of a 26-year-old man who is in a polyamorous marriage with his two 25-year-old female cousins that are twins. As this is anonymous, unlike the stories that are out there in the media I cannot verify this story, so it’s up to you what to think. He is going by the name Jackson here.
Sometimes I come across people online in other websites that seem to be genuine, so I ask them if they can tell their story here.
It’s in the usual interview format where he is answering the questions I asked him.
Continue reading “Polyamorous Consanguinamory Relationship Q & A”
Someone in the shipping community (corny-tyrannosaurus) is starting an art campaign to spread awareness about consanguinamory. Consanguinamory refers to Consensual romantic and/or sexual relationships between ADULT relatives. This is in no way or form connected to abusive incest.
Also, this is totally separate from the Shipcest artist list I mentioned earlier in a post, as it’s different in its purpose. This new art campaign is specifically seeking out people who support or are tolerant of consanguinamory in real life. Basically, allies of consanguinamory. The art itself will be focusing on fictional incest ships. Art includes drawings, fanvideos, fanfiction, etc.
You don’t have to be involved in consanguinamory yourself to participate. But if you are, that’s fine too. If you are a content creator and you want to join in creating art specifically to spread awareness of consanguinamory, please follow the link to see the details.
Sorry, the previous link was broken due to a name change. Here is an updated link. If you’re interested, contact Corny Tyrannosaurus on his Tumblr page:
UPDATE: He had to make a new account. His new account is here: https://cornytyrannosaurus.tumblr.com/
The first step is to simply gather people who think they might be interested in participating. We have already started Phase 2 (where people plan together), but there are still open spaces for several more people to join. Concerns about anonymity and privacy have already been addressed (people can choose to be anonymous for this) but you can ask about it again in the chat group.
So, if anyone out there is a content creator and wants to participate, please see the above link for details and please share this with others you think might be interested.
The following is a link to another article about the cousin couple from Utah. I asked Angie about this (on Facebook) and she said that the news article sensationalized their story and situation. In reality all they had done was give some updates about their lives to the media, and some photos (which are really cute photos by the way :D). They’re actually both doing OK, and so is their baby. So keep that in mind when reading the news article.
I’m not going to post much more about them to respect their privacy (I’m always hyper aware of the importance of privacy. But you can check out their public YouTube and public Facebook pages which they already shared if you want to know more about them… I shared those links in previous blog posts).
Here’s the link to the New York Post article:
If you want to support writers that explore consanguinamory (consensual incest) in fiction, please read this. No one should have to deal with hate for exercising their freedom of speech/creative freedom.
This is a message from an author of a book with consanguinamory themes. The novel she wrote is about romance between two half-siblings. The book is called “Forbidden: Our Secret Love: The Larson Family Saga, Book 2.” This message was sent to the blogger FullMarriageEquality (Keith). I am just sharing it here, with permission from FullMarriageEquality:
Dear Keith,
It’s been nearly a year since our last email communication, but I continue to follow your Full Marriage Equality blog. As you may recall, I published Forbidden: Our Secret Love–a beautiful story of love between two adult half-siblings–twenty months ago.
Since I published Forbidden I’ve been stunned by the pervasiveness of incestaphobia in our society. I cannot comprehend what creates so much disgust, hatred and fear over a loving relationship between two consenting adults! Forbidden is continually attacked by reviewers on Amazon and Goodreads despite a very clear warning in the blurb about the subject matter. On May 14th, a reviewer wrote, “This author is sick. Brother sister sexual relations. It doesn’t get much worse than this. I think this is autobiographical. It was pro-incest propaganda.” One star.
This hurts. Forbidden is a story that came from my heart, because I truly believe that love takes many forms, and none are worthy of condemnation. Beyond my personal feelings, these negative reviews are hurting my reputation as an author. Readers who love my other books are so disgusted by the incest in Forbidden that they’ll probably never read another book written by me. As a professional writer, I’m tempted to unpublish the book for this reason. It would break my heart to give up and give in to hate, because I believe in what you and others in the community are doing.
I don’t know if you’ve read Forbidden, but if so, I would deeply appreciate some input from you and/or other consangs. Above all, is the book an accurate portrayal of a consanguinous relationship? Because if it isn’t, I either need to make some changes or delete it altogether. I would welcome comments from the consang community at my author’s email address:
quinnlarsonauthor@outlook.com.
Thanks for all you are doing, and for taking the time to read this lengthy email.
I really need input from folks other than incestaphobes before I decide what to do about this beautiful book that does not deserve all the negativity it’s receiving.
I’ve changed the Kindle price to .99 and attached a link to Amazon. Thanks. Link: https://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Secret-Love-Larson-Family-ebook/dp/B07HRVB61Y
Sincerely,
Elise Quinn Larson
rainbowamory 