I went to see a talk today by Laverne Cox at a theatre where I live. So much of what she said reached me in a personal way and it was good to see that we live by some of the same attitudes (loving yourself and believing that “Success is the best revenge” when it comes to people that have hurt you or made you feel worthless in the past)
I wanted to mention one segment (out of many) that stood out to me.
She was talking about how to build resilience to Shame (the shame that society tries to instill in trans people or on anyone who is marginalized).
She mentioned that finding someone who is going to embrace those parts of you (that are shunned by others) and giving each other mutual understanding is one of the best ways to build that inner strength. She called it a kind of “mirror” effect, where 2 people with similar life experiences can find validation in each other.
I just thought this is so true… building community is the key to dealing with depression and loneliness. Getting more involved in the trans community was the best thing that happened to me in the past 5 years. I can’t believe I didn’t do it earlier. If you’re struggling with something, find someone else who is going through similar struggles. Even if you’re shy. Even if you don’t connect with people right away, keep trying until you find that one with a ‘mirror’ experience to yours or as close as you can get to that. Isolating yourself will not make you feel half as good as an empathizing friend would.