I’ve been playing around with the idea of making a forum for those who want to write Original Fiction that contains one or more consanguineous couples. There can be several categories: Fantasy/Sci-fi (traditional or modern), Drama
(historical or modern), Mystery, Romance/Erotica, Mixed-Genre, Comics/Graphic Novel. For this particular space, the focus will be on siblings or cousin pairings, queer or straight. It can be a safe space to talk about the challenges of writing canon consang pairs. We can do research together and maybe some bi-weekly writing exercises to develop our characters. I will come up with more details later. But these are some of the prospective rules I thought up so far:
#1 Golden Rule: Respect each other’s preferences; respect each other’s boundaries.
Basic Rules all Must Follow (no exceptions):
*No hypocrisy… If you are going to write about consensual incestuous relationships, you must at least have an attitude of neutrality when it comes to ‘real life’ consang couples (siblings and cousins, for the purposes of this forum). I want to keep the forum a judgement-free, safe space for all, including those who may come to it with personal experience of consanguinamory.
*You must be 18 or over to join.
*No homophobia, transphobia, or racism (again, this must be a safe space for all)
*If you are going to write about relations that occur between people or characters who are minors, the sexual details must be limited within forum posts (obviously in the writing you ultimately publish, you go with your own rules).
*This forum is only for fiction. If you are mixing non-fiction elements into your writing, please make sure to change names and details to respect people’s privacy.
You Are Still Welcome If:
*If you are uncomfortable with the thought of incest, but still want to explore consensual incest in your fiction. As long as you don’t condemn others for their choices in life or in fiction, you are welcome.
*If you have very specific preferences (e.g. you like Bro/Sis but you’re not crazy about Bro/Bro, or you only do queer pairs). Just be respectful of others’ preferences.
*If you want to explore the darker side of consanguinamory, where there is a grey area between consent and non-consent, or if you have unhappy endings planned. As long as you are not coming to the forum with a pre-conceived notion that ‘all consang relationships’ are inherently unhealthy and/or are doomed to fail, then you are welcome to explore unhealthy dynamics as well. Exploring grey areas in fiction does not mean the same thing as being ok with abuse. However, IF your pairing is fully abusive or non-consensual, this is not the forum for you. [Only requirement for grey area is please put a trigger warning tag]
*Poly relationship dynamics are as welcome as monogamous ones.
*If you are only interested in exploring either GSA or non-GSA.
Roughly 20% of the population struggle with high sensitivity. Typical traits include the following:
1. As students, they work differently from other people. They often pick up on subtleties and may think deeply about a subject before sharing in a discussion or contributing in a classroom setting. (This does not necessarily mean they don’t understand the material, or are too shy to speak in public. It has more to do with the way the person processes information.)
2. They tend to be highly conscientious in their work. They notice and pay attention to details, and they think things through very carefully. Also, often being highly sensitive is equated with higher levels of intelligence, being highly intuitive and having a vivid imagination. Highly sensitive individuals work and learn best in quiet and calm environments.
3. Highly sensitive students and employees generally underperform when they are being evaluated. They are highly conscious of being watched, and this inhibits their ability to function at their peak.
4. Although some individuals who are born with this trait may seem to be more introverted by nature, being introverted and highly sensitive do not always go together. Instead, environmental factors have a greater influence on how the individual feels and reacts.
5. People with high sensitivity are more sensitive to both negative and positive experiences. Thus, they are more affected by rough treatment, pain, heartaches and insensitivity from others … but also seem to benefit more from being treated with kindness, care and thoughtfulness.
6. Other common characteristics of the highly sensitive person being easily over-stimulated (hence the need for quiet and calm), being more emotionally reactive than others, and having higher levels of empathy.
I followed a post comment on reddit and found the above video.
I like that romantic love was an option in this game and it wasn’t all about the sex alone. It’s about two cousins stranded on an island. One of the endings has them as a couple and making a family. 🙂 I love how the guy reflects at the end that they’d have to get off the island eventually, so that their kids could see the world and decide what they want. It’s an acknowledgement that just because someone is in an unconventional relationship doesn’t mean they would hold their kids back from having options of their own.
I don’t think they realize how they are making people feel. There are first cousins, even in the U.S., who are happily married, but especially there are many around the world, in cultures where first cousin marriage isn’t frowned upon at all.
I get so frustrated. People are so uneducated about this, and then popular culture just keeps making it worse.
Don’t let it get to you, Anon! That’s wonderful about your parents.
[This post refers to TDoV 2017; other years will have TDoV on a different day of the week]
It’s that time of year again! That awesome day where trans people share their selfies and stories. It’s one of the two largest trans advocacy days, the other being Trans Day of Remembrance (20th November). That day is dedicated to mourning and solemnity, while this day is a day to celebrate being alive! Like last year, I’m not sure of the absolute official hashtag, so I’m guessing there’ll be a variety in use, such as: #tdov #transdayofvisibility #trans day of visibility #trans visibility #trans pride #transresistance #trans resistance
This day has been recognised since 2009 and is increasing in popularity and support each year, but there’s still a long way to go in spreading the word. Visibility is something that the trans community often has to struggle for, so this is our time to step out of the shadows, take pride in who we are, and show the world that we exist and we’re here to stay.
If you are trans
This is your day. No matter your gender – whether you’re male, female, or any nonbinary gender – anyone who isn’t cis (ie. whose gender is different from the gender they were assigned at birth) can participate. This is a great opportunity to get involved in the community and be visible. If you’re comfortable, post a selfie. Share your story. This is your time to be proud of who you are! It can get hard and lonely sometimes, but there’s a whole community here who have your back.
If you are not trans
Please also get involved – don’t leave this day just up to us. Today is a day for you to support and listen to the trans community. Show us some love by reblogging some selfies and reading some stories, whether you browse through the tags listed above or stick to your mutuals. Now is a perfect opportunity to learn about our wonderful community and to look at some beautiful people. It’s a win-win, really.
Above all, I hope everyone has a fantastic TDoV! Have fun and keep it positive.
This is another great post you should check out, with informational links.
I really liked this observation especially:
In the US, there is a false notion that marriages between first cousins in a Southern thing, but the varying state laws do not support that idea. Rather, these relationships exist in every region and in every class.
Ok, I’ve finished watching this film and figured I’d share some thoughts, just on the cousins’ relationship.
***This post contains spoilers***
Slice-of-life stories are not really my kind of thing, but when it comes to handling complex subjects, I think drama (as a genre) generally does more justice to the issues involved than many other genres.
In the past, there have been a number of films that have managed to capture romantic love between cousins in a nuanced, sympathetic way. Friends From France left me with mixed feelings: disappointment and a strange sense of peace at the same time.
The two main characters definitely had chemistry. It was a believable blend of friendship, mutual attraction, and familial love that became the basis of the romantic feelings that developed between them.
Their affectionate interaction was really sweet to watch, but it seemed like there was always something in the way, something left unspoken. Neither of them really had a proper conversation about what they’d want out of the relationship, and this created a distance between them that never really seemed to get resolved.
It’s true that not all cousin relationships end in marriage and a perfect life, but in the case of these two, I really didn’t understand what was stopping them from committing to each other. I could’ve accepted the circumstances if we (as an audience) at least got some explanation about why they are not together – just one conversation between the guy and girl that involved actual discussion about the future.
It was still a beautiful movie in some ways, and I think what saved it for me was that they were both honest with each other about their love, and their storyline is imagined in a bold enough way to even include them having a child together. I can’t help but feel it is really nothing but fear of stigma that is keeping them apart.
I never take the ending of a movie as the final say. As long as the characters are alive, I believe the story goes on… So I can’t help but try to imagine what the rest of their lives would be like.
There are a bunch of options: They could go on living their separate lives but still keep in touch and participate more in each other’s life…….. They could finally have that delayed conversation about whether or not they want to be together as long-term partners…….. They could go back and fourth until fate arranges the circumstances just right for them to really be together. The important thing is, they have a strong support in their friend Viktor, who seems to be very open-minded and loving towards them both. The woman the main guy is dating by the end is also very good-natured, so even if she may be upset at first, I think there’s a chance that she’d be supportive as well if Carol and him ever got together permanently.
Whatever happens, the kid certainly deserves to know who his real father is, and it’s not right that the other man is raising the kid without knowing it’s not his. Vera also deserves honesty.
So to sum it up: This movie is frustrating to watch at times, but it is still worth watching. It feels incomplete and strangely satisfying at the same time. You really just got to watch it and see for yourself.
I am completely in love with my cousin. We had conversations where we both said we believe we are soul mates, because of how deep our connections feels between us. I finally took the plunge, and told her I was in love with her, and she smiled and agreed.
But we are both already married. And my wife hates me being around her. So I have had to turn away from my cousin… and it hurts my heart every day…
Hey dude, I’m sorry it’s been like that for you. The important thing is that you are honest with yourself and she is kind enough to allow you to express how you feel. So many people in this world repress what they really think… if society were more tolerant overall there would be many more relationships like yours where two people (even if closely related) could just admit their attractions to each other. As you are married, it’s best not to pursue anything but I hope you and your cousin still maintain the ability to have honest conversations with each other.
rainbowamory 