Author: rainbowamory

He/They.

So I have this huge crush on my cousin, but he’s not blood related and 3 years younger than me ^^; what should I do?

Published on by rainbowamoryLeave a comment

Hi anon,

It really depends on what kind of relationship you currently have with him. You’d have to give me a few more details if you’d like a more in-depth opinion. For now, all I can suggest is that you move slow in how you communicate your feelings. If you’ve felt this way for a long time and you really want to see if there’s something there, try to let him know how you feel. It’s better in person because this way you can keep your privacy and there won’t be any texts or written stuff that anyone might use against you.

If having relations with your cousin (step cousin or biological cousin) is legal where you live, there shouldn’t be any issues. But if not, be mindful of how open you are.

The age gap is not important if you both don’t feel that it is. But if he is under 18, you should wait till he’s reached that age so you’re both mature enough to do anything sexual and it won’t become a legal issue.

Since you’re not blood-related, you don’t have to think about reproductive risks specific to related people but it wouldn’t hurt to think of that stuff in a general sense (as applies to non-related people) if you ever do get to that point.

For now, I suggest you think about those factors and IF you two are of legal age, it’s up to you how you proceed. If one of you is under 18, you could still share feelings, but to be on the safe side it’s better to wait till you are both 18 or above to do anything more. Be prepared for any response – take a chance and tell him, alone and in-person, when you are ready.

Goodluck 🙂

Plenty of fish in the sea

Published on by rainbowamoryLeave a comment

When people look perplexed at your sexual or romantic choices, saying that there are plenty of other people you could choose from, its senseless. If you are monogamous, then you’d end up with one person anyway, so it doesn’t matter how many people there are in the world… the important thing is that the one you pick is the right one, for you.

No one CHOOSES their Gender

Published on by rainbowamoryLeave a comment

Trans kids are not confused. They know who they are the way only people who have not yet been assigned a role can know themselves.

You can socialize mannerisms, you can socialize gender roles, you can socialize someone to respond to pronouns like any animal not given the chance to choose its own name, but you cannot “socialize” what is on the inside – the core, the essence.

When someone chooses to transition from Male to Female, from Female to Male, or from binary to non-binary, they are not ‘choosing’ their gender. They are dismantling the expectations that society built over them, so they could dig that core self out of the rubble and bring it to the surface for all to see.

If you think that an identity needs to be visible for it to be real, you might as well say nothing we experience on the inside matters.

image

The inside is ALL that matters. If there was nothing there, we’d just be walking bodies, with no inner life.

If you seriously think that telling kids they could transition is damaging, you need to talk to transgender people of all ages. This feeling doesn’t go away, no matter how old someone gets. You know why? Because society cannot CHOOSE someone’s gender for them. It is whatever it always was on the inside.

The only thing a trans person ‘chooses’ is whether or not to peel off the false layers the world wraps them in since childhood, as they go through the assembly line that is “socialization”.

There is nothing in the world more damaging and reductive than telling a kid that their genitals determine their destiny.

You think your cisnormative theories are empowering people? All you’re doing is adding more false layers to suffocate someone’s invisible, but very real, truth.

 

image from (https://engaged-brains.wikispaces.com/Transgender+Identity)