Queer community’s hypocrisy (personal vent)

My OTP, my mind, my rules.

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I didn’t want to bother even writing a post about hypocrisy in the queer community because it’s so obvious that it doesn’t even need to be said. This topic isn’t even worth writing about. Antis are not morally superior. Antis are selfish-to-the-core and cowardly people. But I needed to vent just a tiny bit.

I am usually super careful who I open up to about my writing and my main character pairing, because I know better than to believe that everyone will get it. But this time I slipped in my judgment and thought that someone else who is trans might at least be neutral towards my preference, since I was trying to be supportive of their stuff (their trans stuff) but this person thought my reaching out to them was an invitation for them to go on a rant at me about how they are an anti and how they are against the “normalization” of incest.

And the worst part, they thought they could tell me that I need to change key details about my characters’ identities/relationship. I told them off in as calm a way as I could but it really shocked me that they of all people would think they have that right to tell others what they can or cannot feel or like (considering how they had been treated for their own creative expressions).

I’m not one of those people who will try to argue that cousins are not incestuous. They are in an ambiguous area because they are not immediate family but are still family. And I’m not even saying everyone should automatically be into the same things as me.

But when it comes to my OTP, no way in hell am I changing who they are for anyone. To do so would be to give up my principles as a creative person and also my beliefs about love and relationships and personal freedom.

What exactly would I gain by changing that core part of them? Fake fans, fake love, everything I hate most. My characters would no longer be themselves… they would be just another unrelated couple basking in privilege and making flimsy, half-hearted alliances with queer people, setting themselves up against the newest version of a demonized minority: incestuous couples.

No thanks. I will NEVER change who they were when they first came to me…

When it comes to art, there is such a thing as an ideal audience. That’s the audience you find when you are 100% authentic in your writing or your art. You don’t find that by being a wimp, a conformist. That prospective ideal is worth fighting for because that is the difference between conditional and unconditional love.

It’s not the “normalization” of consensual human incest people should be worried about. It’s the normalization of this level of mindless hypocrisy that should be a concern. You can’t move any minority’s rights forward while maintaining that it’s ok to leave people out, it’s ok to be intellectually dishonest, it’s ok to infantilize others because their preferences are different, and most of all… you can’t move anyone’s rights forward while maintaining this idea that a person’s body is not their own and that their identity is what society makes it.

No. I will not change a single thing about them because the problem is with the Anti. The anti is the one incapable of loving a being that is different. The anti is the one in denial about their own lack of understanding. The anti is the one that needs to change.

Read the Update to this post HERE.

Cousin Dynamics and my preference in fiction

This is something I’ve noticed when looking at different kind of cousin pairs in fiction. Cousins can have various dynamics depending on how they are brought up, their individual personalities, their life experiences and so on… Even though this is a simplified way of looking at it, if cousin dynamics were to be broke down into categories  according to upbringing alone, I think there would be 3 main ones:

Dynamic 1. Sibling-like –

When cousins are raised together as siblings or adoptive siblings

Example 1: In the 1999 movie Sunshine, the cousins who end up marrying were raised in the same house as siblings first.

Example 2: In the 2013 film Friends from France, the two cousins who end up having a fling in adulthood had grown up together under very close quarters, to the point where the girl says the guy is “like a brother” to her.

Example 3: Jon & Sansa from Game of Thrones – raised together as siblings – see each other as brother/sister – they don’t know their real relation yet (up to season 7)

Characteristics: This dynamic is very close to being like a sibling dynamic, often indistinguishable from it. Couples with this dynamic are either extra intimate with each other OR forever hesitant to cross boundaries due to seeing each other more like platonic siblings for so long.

Continue reading “Cousin Dynamics and my preference in fiction”

Introduction to this Blog~

Hello,

I’m Rainbowamory, or “Rain” for short. I may have seemed to appear out of nowhere but I come from Tumblr. Due to the rule changes that are happening in the kinds of content we’re allowed to put on there, I decided to move all my stuff onto WordPress, just in case my Tumblr disappeared.

This was my original page: http://rainbowamory.tumblr.com

This is a very short intro to the material on this WordPress.

Part of this material (specifically that in the Cousin Love and LGBT sections and personal and Fiction sections of the sidebar are my own writing or commentary). Anything in the category of “Tumblr Reblogs” were posts I re-blogged from other people in the overall spirit of my blog.

So what is this WordPress page about? Originally I made my Tumblr to try and educate myself on the subject of unconventional relationships. One half was dedicate to romantic relationships between cousins, straight or gay, and the other half was dedicated to LGBT material.

I am a writer and I wanted to know more about these topics so that I could more accurately portray certain kinds of characters in my fiction. I also wanted to dispel myths and share what I learned with other people in the process.

During my time on Tumblr, and by following other pages there, I feel I learned much of what I needed to already. But I may post new stuff here in the future.

This is to a large extent a personal blog, so I will be writing in a kind of informal style. I support consensual romantic and/or sexual love, including that between first cousins. I am transgender (FTM). I am not involved in an incestuous relationship myself. If you ever want to contribute a piece to this blog, or if you have any questions, you are welcome to send it in, as long as it’s on topic.

You should also read this as it was possibly the most important question anyone asked me on this blog: https://rainbowamory.home.blog/2018/04/05/would-you-consider-incest-a-valid-sect-in-the/

And…that’s it for now~! Thanks!

-Rain

[Due to posts having been originally published on Tumblr, some links may be broken… if you come across a broken link, try looking for that same post on my Tumblr page. I will have to fix those eventually]

 

 

I’m always happy when I see your blog pop up on my dashboard. I want to thank you. You have made this such a welcoming place for shippers, where all over the rest of the internet and in our culture, we would be looked down on for the things we like, this is a safe place. It just always reminds me im not alone. I think ppl see the idea of incest as something very dirty even in fiction, but I feel like a lot of us are really just romantics, who believe in love equally. But thank you again ♡

temporarychange1:

Thank you so much, Anon! I’ve been plugging away hard at asks the past couple of days and this was a very rewarding message for me to receive. I really appreciate you taking the time to say this.

I hate so much that we can’t come online and talk freely about the ships we love without having to be afraid of being judged or even attacked. We deserve better!

And I think you’ve struck on a really important point: a lot of us – maybe even most of us around here – are really just romantics. The haters don’t get it.

That last part resonates strongly. Love is Love. [The above is a reblog of a post from Shipcestuous’s Tumblr. The username temporarychange1 was Shipcestuous before the blog was deleted.]