Tag: incest

Queer community’s hypocrisy (personal vent)

Published on by rainbowamory1 Comment

My OTP, my mind, my rules.

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I didn’t want to bother even writing a post about hypocrisy in the queer community because it’s so obvious that it doesn’t even need to be said. This topic isn’t even worth writing about. Antis are not morally superior. Antis are selfish-to-the-core and cowardly people. But I needed to vent just a tiny bit.

I am usually super careful who I open up to about my writing and my main character pairing, because I know better than to believe that everyone will get it. But this time I slipped in my judgment and thought that someone else who is trans might at least be neutral towards my preference, since I was trying to be supportive of their stuff (their trans stuff) but this person thought my reaching out to them was an invitation for them to go on a rant at me about how they are an anti and how they are against the “normalization” of incest.

And the worst part, they thought they could tell me that I need to change key details about my characters’ identities/relationship. I told them off in as calm a way as I could but it really shocked me that they of all people would think they have that right to tell others what they can or cannot feel or like (considering how they had been treated for their own creative expressions).

I’m not one of those people who will try to argue that cousins are not incestuous. They are in an ambiguous area because they are not immediate family but are still family. And I’m not even saying everyone should automatically be into the same things as me.

But when it comes to my OTP, no way in hell am I changing who they are for anyone. To do so would be to give up my principles as a creative person and also my beliefs about love and relationships and personal freedom.

What exactly would I gain by changing that core part of them? Fake fans, fake love, everything I hate most. My characters would no longer be themselves… they would be just another unrelated couple basking in privilege and making flimsy, half-hearted alliances with queer people, setting themselves up against the newest version of a demonized minority: incestuous couples.

No thanks. I will NEVER change who they were when they first came to me…

When it comes to art, there is such a thing as an ideal audience. That’s the audience you find when you are 100% authentic in your writing or your art. You don’t find that by being a wimp, a conformist. That prospective ideal is worth fighting for because that is the difference between conditional and unconditional love.

It’s not the “normalization” of consensual human incest people should be worried about. It’s the normalization of this level of mindless hypocrisy that should be a concern. You can’t move any minority’s rights forward while maintaining that it’s ok to leave people out, it’s ok to be intellectually dishonest, it’s ok to infantilize others because their preferences are different, and most of all… you can’t move anyone’s rights forward while maintaining this idea that a person’s body is not their own and that their identity is what society makes it.

No. I will not change a single thing about them because the problem is with the Anti. The anti is the one incapable of loving a being that is different. The anti is the one in denial about their own lack of understanding. The anti is the one that needs to change.

Read the Update to this post HERE.

Introduction to this Blog~

Published on by rainbowamoryLeave a comment

Hello,

I’m Rainbowamory, or “Rain” for short. I may have seemed to appear out of nowhere but I come from Tumblr. Due to the rule changes that are happening in the kinds of content we’re allowed to put on there, I decided to move all my stuff onto WordPress, just in case my Tumblr disappeared.

This was my original page: http://rainbowamory.tumblr.com

This is a very short intro to the material on this WordPress.

Part of this material (specifically that in the Cousin Love and LGBT sections and personal and Fiction sections of the sidebar are my own writing or commentary). Anything in the category of “Tumblr Reblogs” were posts I re-blogged from other people in the overall spirit of my blog.

So what is this WordPress page about? Originally I made my Tumblr to try and educate myself on the subject of unconventional relationships. One half was dedicate to romantic relationships between cousins, straight or gay, and the other half was dedicated to LGBT material.

I am a writer and I wanted to know more about these topics so that I could more accurately portray certain kinds of characters in my fiction. I also wanted to dispel myths and share what I learned with other people in the process.

During my time on Tumblr, and by following other pages there, I feel I learned much of what I needed to already. But I may post new stuff here in the future.

This is to a large extent a personal blog, so I will be writing in a kind of informal style. I support consensual romantic and/or sexual love, including that between first cousins. I am transgender (FTM). I am not involved in an incestuous relationship myself. If you ever want to contribute a piece to this blog, or if you have any questions, you are welcome to send it in, as long as it’s on topic.

You should also read this as it was possibly the most important question anyone asked me on this blog: https://rainbowamory.home.blog/2018/04/05/would-you-consider-incest-a-valid-sect-in-the/

And…that’s it for now~! Thanks!

-Rain

[Due to posts having been originally published on Tumblr, some links may be broken… if you come across a broken link, try looking for that same post on my Tumblr page. I will have to fix those eventually]

 

 

I was doing some research on writing about controversial/taboo topics (bc I’m an idealist who hopes to get my brosis book published one day) and there was an interesting bit in one article that mentioned that one way to get the audience to really sympathize w how unfair it is (that x subject is unfairly demonized) is if the sympathetic protag(s) get a tragic ending bc of society’s judgment. Maybe that plays into why our ships tend to end sadly even by sympathetic authors?

Published on by rainbowamoryLeave a comment

temporarychange1:

I have no doubt that that is why the book Forbidden (Tabitha Suzuma) ended as it did. She set out to make every aspect of that novel as sympathetic as possible. And she’s not the only author/creator who did that, I think you are entirely correct.

There’s an important distinction to be made – one that I confess I don’t usually bother making – between “tragedy because of society’s judgment” and a theme of “incest is destructive”. I usually lump it all into “not a happy ending”, but there’s one that’s sympathetic and one that is critical of incest. And the former, I think, sometimes falls under what you say. Often enough for it to be a trend.

EXACTLY. Sometimes people who are anti-incest try to use those unhappy endings to justify their own judgmental behavior. But really, many of those unhappy endings are actually showing what happens when innocent people are prosecuted just for being unconventional. You can usually tell when the author doesn’t care about the characters vs when the author is just trying to capture realism. The book ‘Forbidden’ seems like the 2nd kind, even though I haven’t read it yet… I can tell.

Another Therapist (for Consanguineous couples)

Published on by rainbowamoryLeave a comment

YES! Happy to hear of another therapist that is worth recommending to those who are in consang relationships, like the kind discussed on this blog.

I’m copying and pasting from this page: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/2018/09/a-note-from-therapist.html#comment-form

Details:

I am a psychotherapist who specializes in working with clients who struggle with “taboo” sexualized thoughts and behaviors. I’m currently working on research dealing with consensual familial intimate relationships. I offer online therapy as well as in-person and I accept most major insurance. I’m licensed in Georgia and Maryland.

Keya Johnson, MSW, LCSW, CCTP, CSOTP

therapist.keya@gmail.com

Before talking to anyone, you should make sure you know their rules and what to expect.

Results for~Fiction Writers’ poll (on Original Character Consensual Incest)

Published on by rainbowamoryLeave a comment

This poll was run on tumblr between June 1 to the end of July 2018 (2 months)

This poll was for any kind of original fictional incest pair. The votes would’ve been from different kinds of writers with their own specific interest areas.

The common theme: we’re all people who want to write, are currently working on, or planning to write at least one pair of Original Consensual Incestuous Characters in our own fiction.

Some of the comments were very personal… thank you for your openness and honesty. ❤ You people are absolutely awesome.

We all have our own visions and reasons for writing. This only means we will each have something unique to bring to this topic. One thing we all have in common is…a genuine interest in ‘taboo’ subjects/themes. If anything, hopefully this shows you you’re not alone in writing or wanting to explore these kind of topics/characters. Best of luck to ALL of you.

All your comments were amazing. 

❤   A BIG THANK YOU TO ALL WHO TOOK THE POLL !!  ❤

[Comments are below the chart.]

Link to poll results page: https://poll.pollcode.com/54796467_result_paused [Link no longer visible, so see below instead]

You can also see the results here: https://www.dropbox.com/sh/p2ako3azh06kulu/AABkVB5eq1sI8Yrwg34nEgpTa?dl=0

                                                  RESULTS!

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Would you consider incest a valid sect in the lgbtq+ community?

Published on by rainbowamory3 Comments

That’s a very good question, and a tough one.

Even within already existing definitions of the queer community, there is division and debate on who should be included under the LGBTQ spectrum. That’s why you see several different versions of the group (LGBT, LGBTQIA, etc). I personally like this one the most: LGBTQ*, because the asterisk leaves it open for others without limiting the scope of the community.

The other minorities that don’t always fit in include those who are asexual, polyamorous, intersex, pansexual. The asterisk leaves an open door for these people to participate in the queer community if they want to. But these groups can also make their own spaces, which they often do so they can express themselves without the ignorance of others in the LGBT community who may not understand them.

When it comes to Consensual Incest, there are a whole host of other concerns that are specific to incestuous relationships, such as concerns around reproduction or how it affects familial roles as we know them. And they too have their divisions according to type of relationship. It’s the kind of situation that warrants a whole separate community where they can discuss issues specific to them.

I think there is a theme in the LGBTQ+ community and it has to do with sexual fluidity between the sexes and gender fluidity. It’s important to keep this theme at the core in order to effectively spread knowledge about gay and trans-specific issues.

I’ve chatted with some people who are involved in incestuous relationships online and a couple of them who were in queer incestuous relationships. They said so themselves that they feel like they’re in a whole other category. They felt they didn’t really belong under
the LGBTQ umbrella.  It’s not even about lack of acceptance… they just feel they are experiencing something different from ordinary (non-related) relationships altogether.

At the end of the day, there is a larger umbrella that contains both communities and it’s the Sexual Minority umbrella. I believe that Consensual Incest can exist as its own community under this larger umbrella. It doesn’t really need to be part of LGBT and it doesn’t really fit in. However, considering that they are another sexual minority, I think the queer community should at least approach them with a neutral attitude.

Because of intersectionality, there will always be people who fall in between these two groups (queer incestuous couples, trans incestuous, poly incestuous, etc etc etc). So the two communities can never be wholly separate just as all people are connected. I like talking about both communities in one space because they both fascinate me, from an aspiring writer’s perspective. But in the real world they would function best as two separate communities, for the reasons I mentioned above.

Published on by rainbowamoryLeave a comment

siblingromance:

shipcestuous:

mercury32:

tilthat:

TIL that the recent growth in incest themed pornography production and consumption is driven by demand from millennial generation viewers

via http://ift.tt/2v8my9c

So how much influence has incest-shipping had on this I wonder?

@shipcestuous

This is really interesting. I think a few sites online have facilitated incest shipping and probably made it more popular (leading to more interest in incest porn), though I would be surprised if that was enough to sway statistics in any significant way.

I honestly do wonder if Game of Thrones also had an impact on this.

And who knows whatever else. I am so fascinated.

GOT certainly made it more acceptable to talk about “Hypotheticals” openly, which in turn helped me talk about real relationships more openly. But I don’t think we can separate any of the contributing influences, pornographic or not. I think they are all complementary and helped the other be more accepted.

I think as we came more accepting of non standard relationships in general, Gay or Straight, we also became more accepting of other types of non-traditional relationships. I think the whole trend revolved around the idea “love who you want” and it evolved from there. Everything helped everything. We can’t point to one indicator and say “this is why” we have to look at the whole picture.