Category: Cousin Love posts

Cousin Love (Useful Information and Resources)

Published on by rainbowamoryLeave a comment

For people who need this information – for research or personal use. Here is a list of good resources applicable to cousin-cousin relationships, queer or straight. It’s broken down into 3 main categories: Laws, Communities, and Reproduction facts. I included 2 of my own blogs at the bottom.

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Here is a map of updated

Cousin-specific laws in the US
(never assume this says all details. Laws change. You’d have to look at the government websites of your state to be sure of the updated laws.):

MAP: consanguinamory.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/u-s-_laws_for_consensual_cousin_relationships_in_2017.png

Legal or illegal? –  (you have to know the laws before you act on anything because in some places it’s illegal to even engage in sexual acts, while in other places you can marry a first cousin. Don’t assume it’s legal without checking out the laws. Penalties can go up to several years of jail. In some places, sex is allowed, but marriage is illegal.

If you live in a state where it’s illegal to marry a cousin, and go to another state to marry a cousin, you could get prosecuted if you then return to the state in which it was illegal. If you start off in a legal state, marry, and THEN travel to a state where it’s illegal, you wouldn’t be prosecuted. It depends on where you reside to begin with. I believe this is how it works, but again, just to be sure, ask someone who’d know the laws in depth.):

Source of map:

http://consanguinamory.com/references/laws-on-consanguinamory/

*In Canada first cousin marriage is legal.

*For laws in other places/Europe, see this post.

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Here is a community you can join to find others to connect with and talk to about cousin love, to find out more information, or have support from those who have been through similar experiences:

Community: Cousin marriage and love community group on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/369860813120194/?ref=bookmarks

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[Warning: The comments on these pages are most likely full of ignorance. Some people are just that fact-challenged. Ignore the comments and focus on the information, because the facts are all that matters]

Reproduction 1: A reliable article on reproduction facts (again, never assume just because risks are generally low it means you’ll be fine. Exact risks VARY from couple to couple, based on family health history and the presence or absence of previous consanguineous marriages in your direct lineage. Genetic counseling and tests are really the best indication for a specific couple’s risks):

http://discovermagazine.com/2003/aug/featkiss

Reproduction 2: An educational video on reproductive risks (I haven’t seen this video yet so I’m not sure if it’s decent or what the tone is. Just compare it to other stuff like above article):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNr5FyZp9rI

Reproduction 3: A blog I wrote about the difference between single generation reproduction and multiple generation (opinion):

http://rainbowamory.tumblr.com/post/151272115919/where-to-draw-the-line-with-cousincousin

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What if you get rejected? – A blog I wrote about rejection (Approach without a sense of entitlement and you’ll  be fine):

http://rainbowamory.tumblr.com/post/150379774054/why-your-cousin-may-not-want-to-date-you

A poll for Consanguinamory Fiction Writers

Published on by rainbowamoryLeave a comment

This is a little poll I made for Writers of Original Incestuous Characters–not specific only to cousins, but in general. Maybe you haven’t written something yet, but intend to someday. If so, you can still take the poll.

Link to Poll: https://poll.pollcode.com/54796467

Feel free to leave comments if you want, especially if you pick that last option.

In Diana wynne jones books a lot of people marry their cousins

Published on by rainbowamoryLeave a comment

temporarychange1:

I haven’t read anything by her but I see that she wrote Howl’s Moving Castle, and mostly wrote fantasy. Thank you for mentioning this. I’m definitely more inclined to read something by her now.

Apparently

V. C. Andrews, known for the ‘Flowers In The Attic’ series, also wrote novels featuring cousin/cousin canon relationships. Some person on reddit told me this. People might already know that, but I didn’t know… 🙂

Contribute Anonymously to Cousin Couple Documentary

Published on by rainbowamoryLeave a comment

This was a submission from Delanie, a casting call for a cousin couples documentary. There have been similar ones before but the difference with this one is that you can submit your story ANONYMOUSLY. That would make a BIG difference for someone who may have wanted to educate the public about their life while keeping their privacy… so have a look at the details if you are interested.

Delanie’s Message:

Hi everyone!

My name’s Delanie and I’m the executive producer of a documentary filming in Los Angeles this spring about romantic cousin relationships in the United  States. This project is being made to bring positive attention to cousin couples and hopefully improve the public perception on this topic. My mother dated her cousin, so this is a personal passion project for me. I am looking for dating or married cousin couples, children of cousin couples, or friends/family of cousin couples that would like to contribute their stories ANONYMOUSLY. I understand that this is a sensitive topic and most people do not want to be on camera discussing it. If your story is chosen for the documentary, we will cast actors to portray you and share your experience. We will not use your real name(s) and will change any details you wish in order to protect your identity.

If you are interested in being an anonymous contributor to the project, please email me at delaniefischer@gmail.com. You will be provided with a questionnaire to fill out, and I’ll be happy to answer any questions you may have.

Thank you!
Delanie

Victoria (tv series)

Published on by rainbowamoryLeave a comment
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It’s kind of sad that I’m so late on making a comment about this, but I figured people must’ve already heard of it from other sources.

Victoria is a TV series based on the life of Queen Victoria. It’s the same story as that told in the movie The Young Victoria (in the film list I put up awhile ago). But they will have their own take on it since it’s a series. A significant part of it will be about the love story between her and her first cousin/husband Prince Albert.

If you want to watch it online, you can see it on Primewire (but be warned of popup ads):

http://www.primewire.ag/tv-2782113-Victoria

This is not a proper review but just a few comments since I’m only on episode 4. No major spoilers.. just how I feel about it so far: 

I’m in love. I think I finally found that magic pair that makes me want to ship hardcore… as I said before, video-editing is a hobby of mine but I haven’t made any vids for a related pair yet because I’m picky. For me to make vids, I need to feel a personal connection. I loved The Young Victoria movie very very much. It was perfect and its existence makes me so happy, but on a personal level, I didn’t relate to the guy’s personality as much and the woman wasn’t really… my type. I know that shouldn’t be a factor but when it comes to video-making it’s kinda important to me.

Other than the music in the opening (which I really can’t stand) the series appeals to me on a more subjective level mainly because I identify more with this version of Albert. He is socially awkward in an amusing way (flower-in-shirt moment.. lmao) but is still serious and dignified. And there’s something about him that’s more edgy and sometimes he can be a jerk. An unrepentant, honest jerk. I like that. I get that. That’s the kind of guy I typically relate most to… He seems like a bit of a loner. But he’s still nice to Victoria, and that’s important.

Their dynamic is adorable, natural, subtle. I found Victoria to be annoying at first but she gets more charming. The only thing is.. I wish the writers would’ve prolonged their courtship so that there was more of a buildup to the proposal. In real life they had a longer courtship, I believe. But there’s still time to develop the relationship.

I am in love and feeling the feels. I delayed watching it cause I wasn’t sure if I’d have more of a connection with this Albert. But holy shit, I do. I’m going to vid them hard. lol Under all my vids, I’m going to link to my blog so ppl can learn facts about cousin love… and maybe this ugly world can be a little better for couples like them.

That is all.

[below image from: https://ryansan.deviantart.com/art/in-love-chibi-sketch-192377464          –I should add a nosebleed…..]

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Mental Health Counceling

Published on by rainbowamoryLeave a comment

Hey,

I wanted to share this with anyone who might want to know this information.

If you are part of a minority then you’d know how challenging life can be sometimes. And when it comes to looking for therapy, maybe you feel scared to discuss what is in your heart.

Well, this therapist posted in a consanguinamory group on facebook:

http://www.allheartsunited.org

You can e-mail them at:

THeart@AllHeartsUnited.org

I messaged her a bit and sent her a link to my blog and she said it would be ok for me to post a link to her site here. So if you are looking for a professional therapist who will be non-judgmental and with whom you can be open about your attractions and relationships, you can check out her page (sliding scale is also an option for pricing)

She offers Skype sessions as well. Currently they can only accept clients in the U.S. If you can’t afford her prices, maybe she can refer you to other therapists who would be willing to offer the same kind of services.

I hope someone finds this helpful.

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i like my cousin. i think she’s straight though…

Published on by rainbowamoryLeave a comment

Oh… I thought there was a question here. I guess you wanted to just say it? Well, if you ever want to talk, you can send me a message. Otherwise, if the person you have a crush on doesn’t have the same sexual orientation, it’s not really likely for it to work out. However, sexuality is complex and people have had exceptions before… and between straight and gay there are pansexual people and bisexual people. I think it’s a question of what you want and how badly you want it. If you are ok with a short-term relationship and she is too then it’s up to you how to proceed. But if these feelings are hurting you, then taking a bit of a distance from her for awhile would be best.

I’ve come across at least one queer (female) cousin couple on an online forum.

Maybe it would help to talk to others that have been through it personally.

Tywin Lannister (random but relevant post)

Published on by rainbowamoryLeave a comment
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I wanted to make a post about Tywin Lannister. If you’ve watched or read Game of Thrones, you’d know who he is. I’ve only read up to book 4 of the series (Currently reading book 5, and have not watched the show beyond that point yet either) so I can’t speak for anything that might have been revealed past this point in the story, but I just wanted to comment on something.

How is this relevant? Well, although the series doesn’t really go into this (I guess it simply never came up), Tywin Lannister was married to his first cousin. She was the mother of all their kids. I’m not exactly saying Tywin as a person is a good example for any kind of love.. haha (I actually really hate him because of how he treated Tyrion, who is my favourite character, and for how he cared more about image than his family)… but I have to admit that the way George Martin refers to Tywin’s relationship with his wife was always positive and respectful.

In the books, as in the series, the wife (Joanna) had passed away long ago so we never get to see her (again, I don’t know anything beyond book 4, so I don’t know if there are flashbacks). But we hear of her sometimes in certain passages.

Even though we don’t get much of a sense of her personality, it’s clear from the words of those who knew her that she had an influence on Tywin… There was an observation in the story about how Tywin ruled in public but his wife ruled him. And since cousin marriage was integrated into that society, it was never something that caused stigma for them… His brothers had apparently told Cersei that everyone knew that the love between Tywin and Joanna was strong. It’s also to be noted that he didn’t marry again after her death… also that he possibly used to be nicer while she was alive.

Does this make him a good person? No. He was really awful in many ways. And he had suspected that Joanna had been unfaithful to him, but this was because it was his only way of making sense of Tyrion being born a dwarf..not because Joanna had ever given him reason to doubt her.

Sadly because of the lack of gene testing technology in that setting/time, all people have in that world are superstitions and theories, which led to Tywin making the assumptions that he did. I fully believe that Tyrion is Tywin’s son because the guy has Tywin’s qualities, cunning and intelligence (as was noted many times in the books).

From all that was said by others, it seemed the love between Tywin and Joanna was mutual and true. Portrayals like that really show that Gorge Martin is an honest writer, for allowing the idea that not all incest is abusive and not all cousin marriages are about convenience alone (keeping “money in the family”).

Tyrion turned against Tywin in the end because of Tywin’s own cruelty, not because of a defective quality begotten through his lineage.

So, while Tywin himself was a scumbag… his marriage was not portrayed as being tainted or loveless. I’m strangely touched by that.