Most people have not given any thought as to why someone’s body looks masculine or feminine. A body’s desired gender presentation can be enhanced by the art of body sculpting. Instead of using paint or clay, the artist’s tools are weights and diet. I’ve been asked to sculpt a body for a variety of purposes, from body sculpting to wedding dresses to gender transitions. In the following series, I will provide tips for non-gender conforming individuals to achieve their desired body type.
When someone looks masculine, is it really size or just shadows? Many people are surprised when they meet someone that they see in a picture that the person is or isn’t as tall or short, or large or small. Though everyone’s goals and initial baselines are different and each person needs a personalized approach, for my many fellow LGBTQA identified people, the fitness strategy tends to need more personalization and an even more unique approach than those provided in mainstream fitness plans.
The last ten years of helping people achieve their goals have allowed me to analyze the minute details that changes someone’s visual perception and presentation on various body types. Here’s how to make enhance a more masculine physical perception through fitness.
Changing gender perception in anatomy is by taking one gender skeletal structure and giving it opposite gender accents. How many different accents is up to the art of the person and how they want to be perceived. For those seeking masculine accents, I am just giving you the tool box of what else is available for you to use. We see many silhouettes changes from cutting the hair and the way someone stands. But you don’t always have to do those things to give a masculine perception. For example, how about a female identified athlete who has a male dominate muscular accents but with long glamorous hair? She has a mix of gender perception because of social norms.
Forget the bicep curls, studs, they’re secondary. A topic I will explain in the future. The first focus for someone with a female bone structure who want to be perceived as masculine is the silhouette. It is one of the aspects that people can’t usually put their finger on when they describe why someone looks “buff” or “manly”. So they use other adjectives that the person has “swag”, looks “badass”, or words that exude that someone has a masculine perception, it is possible what really caught their eye was simply seeing the separation of the shoulder muscles against the back muscles. Or other silhouette details that are male dominated.
Here are my top five exercises for those born with female bone structures to gain a traditionally masculine silhouette.
Lateral raises – Female collar bone vs hip bone has a shorter length in ratio compared to male collar bone vs hip bone ratios. One way to gain the same ratios, one must do lateral raises to increase the size of your medial deltoid, also known as your shoulder caps. It will give the greatest shoulder width from the frontal view.
Wide grip lat pulldown – This exercise plays with the eye’s perception of size. Increase the width of your lat muscles, giving the greatest “V” taper angle to your hips. Angles is what changes someone’s perception of width, without actually changing the width. Therefore when your eyes follow the lines of your silhouette, it gives the perception of a smaller waist and muscular upper body. Your lats also will give the greatest increase volume in chest girth measurement because it is significantly larger than your pectoral muscles.
Side lateral shuffle – Female bone structures commonly have wider hip bones therefore it is important to keep the muscles around the hips as lean and tight as possible for male shoulder to hip ratio in developing the masculine silhouette. To have strong but lean and tight hips, leg work is necessary. Lateral movements such as the Side Lateral Shuffle, allows the inner and outer thighs to be tightened through high repetitious use, therefore masking the pear shape frontal view appearance that is common in female skeletal structures.
Arnold press – Named after it’s creator, Arnold Schwarzenegger, this exercise builds the entire shoulder but emphasizes the rear and front deltoid that encompass the shoulder. The rear deltoid is one of the harder muscles to develop for any body therefore it is important that it is done to build the illusion of full round shoulders. It is the key separator in the shadows and silhouette separation from your upper trap muscles of your neck to the deltoids of your shoulders. Proper shoulder development also gives shadow separation from front deltoids to biceps and rear deltoids to triceps which gives your arms the illusion of being large.
Plank – The importance of your abdominal section being strong and tight applies to any body but even more crucial for those that want the illusion of a larger shoulder girth to hip ratio. Obviously there is plenty functional reasons why we should all develop strong core muscles, but in this vanity purpose conversation, it gives the male bone structure illusion of smaller hip as well as lower body fat. Male born bodies on average is 10% lower body fat than female born bodies, excluding any consideration for outside medical assistance. Your V taper can even be tight and strong enough to follow your mid section down to your crotch.
No article can say what you want or what is best for your body. All these suggestions are is what I just said, suggestions. They are the common tips I give when asked. And instead of waiting to be asked common questions in the identifying butch community, I’d like to share it here for anyone who ever wondered. Take what you want, leave what you don’t, and find your own ideal you in every facet of your life. Train hard and have fun with it.
I’ve been debating with myself on whether or not to share examples from my own life for this blog. Part of the reason is I don’t want to take away the anonymity of certain individuals, as their stories are not mine to tell. But I feel that maybe it might help someone if I just write about it without giving too many specifics.
The purpose of this sharing is so you can see how closely tied we all are and that these kinds of relationships are all around us, though we may not know of them.
Back when I first decided I wanted to explore these topics someday in my fiction, I didn’t know anyone in person that was in a relationship with their cousin. I only knew a butch lesbian girl about my age who was my close friend. That was the only person I knew at the time that represented anything outside the ‘norm’.
When I was 18, I was having a conversation with my mother one day, telling her about my fictional pairing and their unique bond. I felt very weird sharing that with her, and I was worried she’d judge me. But what she told me surprised me. She told me that one of my uncles was married to his first cousin… He was the only one like that in my extended family, which is a very large family.
At first I didn’t know how to feel about it. I barely knew him since I grew up in a different country, though while I was still in my homeland (before I moved to that other country) I saw him around when visiting my grandparents. I also saw his wife. I used to think she was scary when I was a kid because she had a temper when dealing with her children’s misbehaviour. At a later visit though, when I was older, I saw her in a different light as she treated us very kindly…
But the ones I remembered a little more were their kids. They had two sons back then. I used to think of the younger one as the ‘toothless kid’ cause when I knew him he was so young and still losing his milk teeth. The older one was around my age and I felt more of a bond with him. I would see him picking flowers in my grandmother’s front yard and I used to think of him as being like Peter Pan… because he seemed free spirited and in touch with his imagination. I have to admit that since then he has grown up to be something of an arrogant, self-centred person… I think he developed that attitude from having got to travel the world, while most of our other family were still in our old home country.
I think his travels had also made him a little more open-minded (he has some gay & lesbian friends) though I had to educate him on trans issues, which he knew nothing about. His brother also has a lot to learn when it comes to anything queer.. but I always felt like he made an effort to talk to me, while many of my other cousins didn’t, so I appreciated that. They have a little sister now, who I also got to meet briefly during a later visit, and she was so sweet and humble – she was having some self esteem issues about her looks so I was trying to encourage her and boost her self esteem (she felt like one of our other cousins was prettier than her..)
So basically, I met their whole family and have come to feel that they are like any other family. But at first it was weird for me to hear about their parents, in part because I had a negative impression of their mother when I was a kid, but also because this was the first time I was encountering a cousin/cousin relationship in real life. It’s easier to explore these things in theory or imagination. But when you come across it in reality, especially in your own family, sometimes you do need a moment to process it and adjust your mind to it. Because social conditioning runs deep.
That was the first time I had to look outside my fiction and try to understand the actual challenges that kind of couple, that kind of family, would have to deal with. Luckily for them, they come from a culture that makes space for their love within the greater society, to a certain extent. So they could manage to exist in peace within that society and raise their kids and still be part of the extended family.
I asked my mother how she feels about it, the fact that her brother is married to their cousin. She said she loves her brother very much, he was very kind to all his sisters while growing up (he would buy them clothes, encourage their education, etc). My mother was brought up in the same culture he was, so it wasn’t an unusual thing to see him marry their cousin. But it wasn’t an arranged marriage. The couple fell in love with each other and decided to marry of their own free will.
My mother said that the women that married her other brothers (her in-laws) were like strangers, whereas her cousin was always a part of the family, she had grown up with her, so she felt more comfortable/familiar around her than with her unrelated sisters-in-law.
I talked about it again with my mother several years later, after starting this blog. She had doubts around whether or not it was right for couples like them to have kids. This kind of hurt me to hear, so I told her all the things I learned about genetics from the reading I’ve done so far. She just felt that there was a lot we didn’t know about potential health risks in cases like that, both short term and long term, which is a fair concern. But I kept talking to her until she seemed to at least understand my view that if the risk is a low enough one to make it worth taking, there’s nothing wrong with it. If you can give a kid quality of life to make life worth living, and give them as many opportunities as possible to be successful, then why deny them existence?
Between a society that is judgemental and an individual that follows their heart I think it’s the society that needs to change. Because alot of the damage that is done to families like that or couples like that comes directly from outside, not within.
The only irony, if I’m going to be honest, is that I’m not sure if my uncle would be as accepting of my identity. He’s used to having the same privileges to the most part that straight men have. And in his culture there are no spaces for queer people to be openly themselves.
Knowing about him has made me see that all kinds of people can exist in one family, that closely situated, without ever knowing about each other… there must be so many other families out there like mine, but they either wouldn’t know about it or wouldn’t talk about it.
My mother accepts me and her brother’s family, I accept myself and my uncle’s family, but would he accept me? I don’t know… Some of the family may accept him but not me, or accept me but not him.. some may reject us both. All of that, to me, is simply a refusal to accept that we’re all equal. And that, above everything, is what I struggle most with.
—
That is one example. The second one I have is from my partner’s family [read Part 2]
I know I haven’t been writing much at all if anything, life has been very… unlucky and if you’ve seen my latest posts and my message to the anon you know I am feeling extremely low. I’d appreciate if you could hit the tip jar button on my posts. If you can’t see the button then you can use the link in this post. You can also paypal me donations to help me keep my blogs (and my poor body) running via kaitcat1124@gmail.com.
Basically I injured my legs and am now back in physical therapy, I had to endure a toxic person for the last month on a daily basis and it messed me up. I am in the midst of getting in with a new therapist. I am also receiving a small monthly stipend and am certifiably disabled and thus cannot work.
If you wish to buy me something you can look at my giant list of shiny things [Here]
In addition I recently had been in the ER for an attempted overdose. I live in a bad family situation and am working to get out. Anything helps, please signal boost this.
Since making this post I started seeing a trauma and disability focused therapist and am working on getting government aid filed. I just need help getting through it and getting out of here. I am also in the process of getting a prescription that qualifies my cats as therapy animals and therefore allowed in apartments. I am not sure where I will be moving in the end but the first step is low income housing and then out of state.
Thank you for reading!
Since I have been sharing this post privately to people close to me and a smattering or others (thanks for any and all reblogs/signal boosts). I couldn’t write up a proper explanation of my situation past the two originals yesterday.
Here’s the facts:
My mom is most likely undiagnosed with NPD. This subthread will give you an idea of what these sort of parents are like.
I have tried multiple times to tell adults, her therapist(s), and mine that she needs help and she will either attack me, make jabs at me, guilt me or flat out deny any possibility of illness no matter how I choose to approach the topic.
A reliable source in the family (aka one of the only good and level headed of our blood) told me what she witnessed her doing to my brother (he’s 14 years my senior and an aspie) and it proves that she has always been abusive well before I was born.
My mom has made horrible threats to shut me up and make me behave through my life even saying I’d be [Trigger warning] beaten and raped if I went into foster care.
Nowadays her immediate reaction is to dismiss/force me to constantly repeat my triggers or be told to ignore them and give them what she wants.
She also triggers me to the point of banshee screaming and wailing as I beg to have some space and be left alone. If I don’t let her in she threatens to get me put into a psychiatric ward. She knows how to make me meltdown. She purposefully triggered me by blaming @squireofshadows for what the meds were doing to me along with my illness in 2015 rather than accept that she and the meds were to blame.
She will guilt me and say I can’t survive or do something because of my mental illnesses.
Refuses to believe what she’s done is abusive and then guilts us by saying that she isn’t allowed to have feelings. She lies to everyone else and makes us look irrational or like we are just having episodes.
Refuses to listen to my explanations or read my resources on my illnesses and how they manifest
Blames me for my rape and abuse
Whenever she slips up and I call her on it she gaslights me or she tries to say she never said it that way/with that intention/was going that direction.
Tells me wanting to out my rapists and confront them/get my property back (which means I’d need the funding to convince her to help me make the trip to retrieve the car back and get his name or my name off)
I am also working to get a prescription for my cats as therapy animals which means I need to update their shots, update the two microchips of my older two and microchip the younger two.
I would appreciate any donations possible.Either at my ko-fi, my paypal, or my wishlist. I really need to get out guys.
Sharing this for a friend. If you can help out please consider. Or if you can re-blog this it would also be greatly appreciated.
This is a very rough picture I sketched of how I imagine my character with his kid someday if he has a little girl. This is the character I keep referring to on my Tumblr. If he has a kid with his love/cousin this is how I imagine the kid would look. His love has black hair, but since they both have blonde people in their extended family it’s possible for them to have a blonde kid (recessive genes). I wanted to say alot more about how a person’s love life doesn’t define a person and that it’s just one part of who they are… there are so many other roles a person plays (brother, son, father, friend, soldier – in my character’s case, etc) but I’m kinda lazy right now. So, this is all I’ve got ^_^ I’ll throw the rest in his character profile.
I wanted to post this some other time but since I’m not on here anymore, I wanted to just leave it on my blog for anyone who is interested. This is my youtube channel, where I make fan videos for films or shows I love. 🙂 It’s not directly related to my blog here but it does have some slash. ^_^ This is another way to contact me if you want. -rainbowamory
Hey, I just want to thank the people that have followed recently. But to be honest, a lot of things are going on in my life due to which I am not blogging anymore. So if there are no more updates please don’t be surprised. If you ever want to talk or recommend a film or info to add to the list of related topics for this blog, you can contact me here: muffinsandblades@hotmail.com
I rarely log on here now so if I don’t reply to something you’ve written, this is why. If you need to talk to me, please send me a message to the e-mail above.
I went to see a talk today by Laverne Cox at a theatre where I live. So much of what she said reached me in a personal way and it was good to see that we live by some of the same attitudes (loving yourself and believing that “Success is the best revenge” when it comes to people that have hurt you or made you feel worthless in the past)
I wanted to mention one segment (out of many) that stood out to me.
She was talking about how to build resilience to Shame (the shame that society tries to instill in trans people or on anyone who is marginalized).
She mentioned that finding someone who is going to embrace those parts of you (that are shunned by others) and giving each other mutual understanding is one of the best ways to build that inner strength. She called it a kind of “mirror” effect, where 2 people with similar life experiences can find validation in each other.
I just thought this is so true… building community is the key to dealing with depression and loneliness. Getting more involved in the trans community was the best thing that happened to me in the past 5 years. I can’t believe I didn’t do it earlier. If you’re struggling with something, find someone else who is going through similar struggles. Even if you’re shy. Even if you don’t connect with people right away, keep trying until you find that one with a ‘mirror’ experience to yours or as close as you can get to that. Isolating yourself will not make you feel half as good as an empathizing friend would.
Anon, that is awful. I’m so sorry. That must be so hard for you.
This kind of mindset infuriates me.
incest ≠ abuse: abuse = abuse
Anyone who thinks incest is always non-consensual really needs to take a long hard look at the fact that they’re not thinking critically if they’re so sure about something and cannot even consider possible exceptions.
While there are a lot of ways in which a person can become brainwashed (for lack of a better word), it’s also really disrespectful and takes away a person’s agency to assume that they’re not consenting to something that they say they are consenting to. Like, just maybe there’s a chance they know themselves better than you know them, you know? (I’m talking about adults here, obviously.)
Obviously incest shippers are not bad people for shipping incest! Even if incest definitely was a bad bad thing, shipping it does not make you a bad person. WE ARE NOT HURTING ANYONE.
And even through all the convoluted arguments about how someone might potentially eventually be hurt through incest shipping, the wrongdoing is not on us.
(Obviously we must do what we can to be respectful.)
fullmarriageequality and rainbowamory are two sites with a lot of great discourse about consensual incest and fighting that kind of mindset.
I’m sorry you have to deal with that, Anon!
I’m not saying you should speak up to your friends or anything – I can understand why you wouldn’t, and given the circumstances I would probably advise against it – but I do have to wonder what effect it would have if someone they respected were to disagree with them.
Hey shipcestuous, it’s very sweet of you to mention my page on your post. 🙂 I’m with you on the points you made in your response (especially the bit about thinking critically). I’d also like to add, anon, that you don’t have to have anyone’s permission or blessing to believe in what you believe. If they took a moment to get the facts and challenge their ignorance, your friends might think differently. But often times people don’t think about these things unless they’re confronted with it in a more immediate sense (like if someone in their own family or a friend they are really close gets involved in that kind of relationship). If your friends are willing, you should give them a good book or something that explores the topic of incest in an alternative way (focusing on consensual acts & relationships). It might compel them to open their mind.
rainbowamory 